So, I had an interesting conversation with my 15-year-old daughter the other day. She asked me, after sitting in a seminary class at school... How a loving father could subject her to the trials and tribulations that she faces on a daily basis. And I honestly didn't know how to answer that question. Because, it's a question that I have. How do you justify your faith in a loving father and a merciful Christ? Especially when you face agonizing and crippling struggles on a daily basis.
So, the question remains. How do you rationalize faith? The easy answer would have been to tell her that we all have trials and tribulations. That we were sent here, or that we chose to come here to learn, to grow, and to eventually return and live again. That'll being said; I honestly don't know how to rationalize my faith. I don't know how to put into words all the craziness that's constantly swirling around in my head.
I think I can honestly say that I'm truly struggling with my faith in a loving father these days. I feel so, abandoned. I feel so alone. I feel like a failure. I feel like I'm failing at everything that's placed in front of me. I'm drowning in a swirling pool of self-doubt and I am afraid that I'm never going to be saved. I don't feel worthy to be saved. I don't understand why anyone would want to make that effort.
So, if I feel this way.. how can I help my 15 year old feel better? What's the words of comfort can I offer her? How do I help her understand? Especially, when I don't understand. I know the first time I've written about this feeling. I actually went back and reread my original post. And I even took the time to tell her about all the feelings and emotions that led up to that brutally honest expose of my feelings. Hopefully she'll learn something from the words that I've written, maybe it's time for me to go back and learn something as well.
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